duminică, 26 iulie 2009

The useless extension of a more interesting tumor

One year and a half ago I found out I have a tumor that for my age, under 30's, is quite ...let's just say unexpected. From all I've read, this type of tumor appears sometime after 40's IF there are other elements that converge such as the genetic background etc. Bottom line, people with 20 something years don't make this tumor, that's the conclusion of all the medical papers and documents that I've read. And yet, here I am, not only that I grew this kind of tumor but it also has the size of a small melon. I feel so special... You have no idea...

Of course, I started visiting doctors and getting opinions. I must have visited at least a dozen only in the last year. Everybody told me I should have it operated but for me that is the last available option IF I don't find a treatment. I started searching the internet and, what do you know, there are treatments and I stated wondering why none of the doctors I've visited told me anything about this.

The answer came a few days ago when one of the doctors made a "joke" saying that he's not going to tell me his opinion unless I decide to operate my tumor at that hospital. I also understood some other doctors' reactions who asked me if I can rest in the hospital for an immediate intervention. It's not my welfare that their interested in, it's my tumor. Somehow it got scientifically more important that me.

I asked one doctor what are the chances that I live a normal life after the operation and he said "seeing and doing"; something like "I'll cut you open to analise the tumor but that happens with you afterwards is not as important". I know that there are no guarantees, that nobody can tell me exactly what's going to happen but "seeing and doing" is not exactly the professional attitude I'm looking for. But than again what do I know? I'm just a guinea pig with an attitude.

Maybe at this time, being so big, there is no other option than surgical. I do understand that and I'm preparing myself but I'm looking for a doctor who is at least as interested in my recovery and my welfare as he is in my tumor. Haven't found him/her yet. I'll keep looking.

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